Hello... ...and greetings. Welcome to my blog. I don't think it's bragging to say this is the greatest blog ever created on Earth. I may be surpassed by one or two bloggers throughout the universe, but from here to Abell 1835 IR1916 this is the best you will find. So hang for awhile, read, and stay up longer than you should perusing through my random thoughts (and even logic based political messages). I will give a full refund to those dissatisfied. 6/16/2007 (11:43 pm CST) Bees How can one determine if an insect or anything else is self-aware? I am self-aware. Is a bee self aware? Does the bee decide, "this is a good day to die" and proceed to suicide bomb invaders? I have never been a bee, so I cannot say with any kind of certainty what existence comprises of for a bee. I can say, however, that bees thoroughly groove on collecting pollen and producing honey. If asked its top five favorite things, collecting pollen and producing honey would fill many slots. Apparently if a bee gorges itself on honey, it becomes very calm and chilled. This must be a very convienent and difficult to control drug problem. There are no foreign suppliers and no trafficing to control. The bee is out at a club and all it has to do is regurgitate the honey only to consume it again and it's a party all night long! That's really all I have to say, Peace. 6/11/2007 (1:23 pm CST) Dreams I have been having the craziest dreams the past three nights. Most of the time my slumber is pitch black and nothing interesting happens. But my god, that is not the case recently. Not only am I having a lot of dreams, but the dreams experienced feel one hundred percent real. For instance: I dreamed I was falling and really, really felt wind was rush past my face, my heart pound and when I woke up I was completely surprised I wasn't dead. Another example: In my dream, a cat was playing with me. The dream took place on my bed. The dream was so real that when I woke up I was completely sure an animal was in my bed. I even looked around for a few minutes because I actually FELT myself playing with this cat (its fur, it touching me etc). I have never felt anything in my dreams before. These are the only two I can vividly remember, but these past three nights everytime I wake up, it is because some sort of dream woke me. I am almost certain these dreams are the result of medication I have been taking for my allergy to dogs. I never dream. I started to take this medication. I am dreaming constantly. It seems like too much of a coincidence. Perhaps I can market this drug as some sort of entertainment because the dreams are damn interesting. That's all, Peace. 6/9/2007 (12:28 pm CST) Obesity is Funny Haven't updated in awhile, but its important that I do. I know hearing me ramble is a necessary condition for life on Earth, so I will do my best. Yesterday I was browsing the internet and noticed a government sponsored addvertisment concering obesity in children. The ad consisted of an overweight youth playing video games. Now, what kind of message is this sending? "We want your children active! But we need at least one obese child for our ad. Save one obese child for us." Personally, I would not want to be the child in the add. An inquiring grandmother: "Oh, neat. You've been showcased in advertisments. What were they for?" Response: "I play inactive obese children. I am a method actor." That's all, Goodnight. 6/5/2007 (10:08 pm CST) Bush, Bush, Bush... Let's all hail the chief... for he is wise beyond his years. Bush, or as I like to call him: 'the world's greatest enviormentalist' has given a speech urging fifteen countries to set a global emissions goal. Wow, that sounds like a pretty good idea... wait a second... you know, now that I think about it... it seems sort of familiar. Oh, now I remember! Somebody already thought of this! Hey Bush, ITS CALLED THE KYOTO PROTOCOL! You know, the one that requires industrialized nations to cut emissions to 1990 levels by 2012? You don't remeber? Yeah... its the one we have refused to ratify. Hey, guess what would be easier than drafting our own global emissions bill? RATIFYING THE KYOTO PROTOCOL. I am ashamed that you are the president of the country of which I am a citizen. How many days until January 20th 2008? 6/5/2007 (12:01 am CST) Yay! Good news citizens of the United States. We are leading the world in solid waste production per capita! Yes! Around the world, many humans are interested in the sport of soccer. Particularly they are interested in seeing their favorite teams and players defeat other teams and players. This is not the case for me, however. No... my interest... my driving passion.. the thing that gives me incentive to live another day is enviromental statistics of America (yeah, thats right we're the only America that matters... get used to it other lesser Americas) and see how we stack up to the world. So far, America is doing pretty good, but not good enough. We are number one in the following categories (shown in bold): solid waste (per capita) (it was looking close there for a second, thank god we traded 11,000,000 tons of waste to other countries to aquire 17,000,000 tons of waste, biggest move of the year in my opinion) threatened species cumulative CO2 emmisions (sadly we're number 3 in CO2 per capita... we're letting Kuwait and the United Arab Emirates beat us!?) CO2 from fossil fuels CO2 from fossil fuels (per capita) nuclear waste Sure, leading in six enviromental categories is good (better than any other country), but it can get better. Our water is too clean! We don't have enough SO2 in our air. If we keep this up, the rest of the world is going to think we're a bunch of tree hugging pussies. Now we don't want that! So we each need to do our part. Stop recycling! Let your car run all day. Dump your garbage into the water supply (tell your neighbors to do the same). With a little community help, we can make America top dog in every enviromental category. A complete listing of statistics of countries can be found at www.nationmaster.com. And, oh yeah... we're still the most obese! 6/4/2007 (10:29 pm CST) Trellian!! Ok, that was annoying. For some reason the index page was deleted and I had to re-create it. I hate you trellian!! 6/4/2007 (2:43 pm CST) Al Gore I just want to warn you to not get the wrong impression. I care about the earth. I recyle, don't eat animals, eggs, cheese, bike to get around, buy used, limit my consumerism, conserve water, and lecture those that disagree with my ideals. However, I do have a problem with Al Gore. Now, for those of you that aren't aware, Gore has won an academy award for his documentary, 'An Inconvienent Truth' which covered the topic of global warming. I firmly believe in this phenomenon and feel it could lead to the destruction of humankind, BUT, I don't believe in Gore being portrayed as the enviromentalist Jesus. Ok Goreman, I'm talking to you. You're an enviromentalist, huh? You love the Earth, would have sex with the Earth and would marry the Earth, is that right? Well, you know, maybe I'm the only one that noticed, but... ...Gore lives in a MASSIVE house. In fact, typing the word MASSIVE in all capitals doesn't even begin to describe this monstrocity. Now, since I KNOW that Gore is big on saving resources and not using up more than his fair share, I'm sure it is just a secret base of operations housing hundreds of workers in the fight against human waste. Otherwise, you could almost call Gore hypocritical, which he most certainly is not. Likewise, I'm sure the fact that he flies around in a private jet is incredibly necessary to the lowering of Earth's temperatures. If he had to rely on public transportation, he would be forced to speak with commoners and thusly ruin his voice for his speeches about the unnessary waste of the western world. So... carry on Gore... Earth's only hope in the fight against annihilation. The only one that truly understands what it will take to fight this global disaster. Leading by example... what a trooper. Almost makes me want to punch him right in the balls. I hereby nominate Gore for biggest dochebag in the universe. Peace. 6/4/2007 (2:45 am CST) Best Shows Why do all the best television shows appear between 12:00 and 3:00 am? Though, I rarely watch television because I feel it is one of the bottomless pits of despair in the human experience, between 12:00 and 3:00 I am hooked. Like for instance, I was just thinking of the movie, 'Identity' and how much I enjoyed it. So I turn on the television around 1:30 in the morning and BAM, there it is. So I stayed up until three watching it. There is always a great movie, historical account, perspective on the cosmos, species, or news program. On the same token, the funniest commercials are broadcast between these hours. Yes, the ones that showcase how easy it is to lose weight by buying a large rubber ball. Wait... hold on... apparently I can earn thousands of dollars from my own home. My own home!? Must dial faster... make money, lose weight, help starving children... gahhhh. 6/1/2007 (2:07 am CST) Arachnids | |